So… my love for the state of Texas has become something of a running joke among the chase crew this year, and for good reason. I’ve been joking a lot about how much I like Texas. I’d like to illuminate one of the main (amusing) reasons why.
But first, a tiny bit of backstory. On the chase, unless you spend money to buy fast food at stops, you most often eat cold meals from the coolers in the back of the vans. This typically consists of some lunch meat, peanut butter and jelly, bread, crackers, chips, grapes, and a few other foods I’m most certainly forgetting. Buying a lot of meals can get expensive, so I eat out of the cooler as much as I can. That said, I will lose my mind for lack of hot meals – so the continental breakfast at hotels is very, very important.
More specifically, I eat waffles. A LOT of waffles.
My morning routine goes as follows: get up, shower, finish processing photos, partially pack, eat a waffle, finish packing, morning meeting, then depart. There is very little wiggle room there for any activities to take longer than they should, as this process already takes about two hours on an average morning.
This means unexpectedly small waffles are quite inconvenient, as that means I have to make more than one.
Enter Texas.
As we all know, Texas is… rather fascinated with itself. Everything there is in Texas is about Texas – sometimes hilariously so, as is the case here. In many hotels, the waffle iron in the breakfast area makes a Texas-shaped waffle. The overall iron is the same size, but instead of putting a circle inside the circular space there is a Texas shape in the circular space.
This poses a problem, as shown below.
The shape of Texas occupies much less area within a bounding circle than the circle itself, meaning that an inset Texas shape in a waffle iron wastes a large amount of space. More exactly, Texas occupies around 52% of the area within a minimum-size bounding circle. Therefore, a waffle from a Texas hotel will be significantly smaller than a waffle from a hotel anywhere else in the developed world.
Everything is most certainly NOT bigger in Texas.
As a consequence of Texas’ renowned self-admiration, I end up needing to spend a few extra minutes each morning in the lobby making an additional waffle in order to satisfy my daily desire for delicious hot waffles as a measure to stave off the urge to buy hot food during the day.
This slightly inconvenient consumption of my time has resulted in a strong, if not rather unreasonable, opinion of Texas.
So there you have it. Texas isn’t so bad… but their waffles kind of are.